Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more than the
plaintive cry “nobody likes me" or ”I don’t have any friends.” We wish
there were something we could do to insure the child will be, if not the
most popular, at least included in the games on the playground.
Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by
the group and become more approachable to others.
New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways.
These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and
other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some
children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. It has been called a
“shorthand” to making friends. Not only does fitting in and having
friends feel good, it has numerous other advantages including better
grades, healthier bodies, less stress, and more opportunities to learn
social skills. Children who feel like they have friends tend to stay in
school longer, make wiser decisions, and are generally happier.
Parents, teachers and other caring adults: Here are 7 secrets to
assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a
daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging.
Look for opportunities to assist others. Studies show that helpfulness
correlates more strongly than any other attribute to being liked. Teach
them to be aware of other people’s needs and to offer assistance
spontaneously, before they ask for it.
Find something that makes you feel special. Encourage your child to find
an activity, hobby or interest that they really enjoy. They don’t have
to excel at it, just enjoy it. Do you enjoy drama, dance or railroads?
Join a group of enthusiasts.
Say "hello" first, and smile. People who smile are perceived as nice and
approachable. Friendly and optimistic people act as a magnet to others.
Have you ever gotten mad at someone who smiled or said hi to you?
Don’t stand out from the crowd. Whether we like it or not, kids are
judged by the way they look. Try to help them fit in socially.
Don’t take it personally. Help your child understand that another person
may just be having a bad day and may not be mad or dislike him or her.
Teach them that people are really less concerned about us than we would
like to think.
Watch your body language. Verbal communication is the language of
information. Body language is the language of relationships. Appear
open, friendly and eager to join in and make friends. Stand up straight
and look people in the eye. Respect other people’s space by not standing
too close.
Recognize the difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship
is more important and will last a lifetime. Popularity is fleeting and
dependent on the group. You really only need one good friend.
Trick or Treating - Keep
Your Kids Safe Halloween is a holiday loved by kids everywhere. It’s a fun time
to dress up like silly or scary characters and go trick-or-treating in the
neighborhood. Be sure your kids are safe while trick-or-treating with these
quick tips..
