Surviving The Winter Blues - A Family Prescription
By Sheila Gregoire
By the middle of winter most of us desperately need a trip south. It's dark.
It's cold. Christmas is gone, and summer is still far off. Life looks bleak.
And at the same time as we're ready to throw in the towel, others are chucking
stuff right back at us. The kids need their science fair projects done. The car
needs an oil change. It's time for Johnny's orthodontist appointment. Can you
work a double shift? And why isn't there any milk in the house?
Make no mistake about it: you aren't going to survive winter intact unless you
take some drastic action now to eliminate some of the stress in your life while
the sun still isn't shining.
Plan Your Week
First, plan your week before it begins. Figure out who needs to see what
dentist, specialist, mechanic or accountant this week, and get it all scheduled.
Then plan all your meals, make a shopping list, and go and actually buy the
food. There's no worse place to be at 5:30 at night than standing in line at the
checkout counter with three whiny kids in tow. Having groceries ready to go is a
big stress reducer and money-saver.
Assign Your Children Chores
Then, take those little whiny kids and use them to your benefit. They're going
to whine anyway, so they may as well whine while they're clearing up after
dinner. If the kids do their share of the chores, they free up your time, too.
Besides, kids need to learn that they aren't the centre of the universe. Write
their chores on the fridge and do them at a set time everyday so they become
routine. If kids understand that they have to contribute to the family,
ironically they're likely to feel more connected to that family than if they get
a free ride.
Cut Out Some Extra-Curricular Activities
And here's a radical one: consider cutting out some after school activities. I
know, I know, I can just hear those whines getting louder. But think about it
this way: how many activities were you involved in when you were a child? Most
of us only did one, if any at all. And are you a freak? Your kids won't be,
either, no matter how loudly they howl now.
Eat Dinner Together
Next, eat dinner together at least three times a week. That's really hard to do
if you're running from the rink to the gym to the music teacher's house. And
it's really a challenge if you work shift work. But a University of Minnesota
study found that kids who ate dinner in a family setting at least four times a
week did better at school, and were less likely to become involved in crime or
alcohol or drugs than other kids. Kids need family time. And in today's fast
paced world, that's really hard to give them unless we deliberately make the
effort.
Plan Family Times
Part of that effort involves technology free times. After all, if you're all
under the same roof but Suzie's on the phone, Jake's on the internet, Dad's on
his cell, and Mom's watching TV, are we really together? What about having half
an hour or 45 minutes every night where there is no technology allowed, except
the occasional lightbulb? Play a game, talk, do a hobby, or just hang out
together. The more time we spend engaged with our kids, the more likely they are
to bond with us.
The only way to really survive these dark days is to focus on what's most
important. Instead of letting life sweep us away, let's sail in the direction we
want to go. And make sure those kids are in tow.
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