|
|
My Kid Is Driving Me Crazy! 3 Tips That Will Help Control
Your Child's Behavior
By Kate Carpenter
You live a stressful life, what with work demands, shopping, paying the bills,
friends, family, hobbies and everything else! And now, your child or children
are driving you crazy. You come home, hoping to relax and have a peaceful
environment, and the kids are out of control. Can't they see you're stressed?
Oh, yes, they see. Maybe not consciously, but more on a subconscious level.
TIP # 1--Your Child Mirrors Your Mood
Your child or children pick up on your mood. So, when your stressed, angry, or
frustrated, they are more likely to be that way, too. It's not something the
child does on purpose, it's a natural reaction. Think about when your husband or
wife is in a bad mood. If you're around them for any time, pretty soon you are
in a bad mood, too. It works the same way with you children. They receive their
cues from you! As difficult as it may be sometimes, it is important, if you want
to alleviate the tension and chaos from your household, to project a calm and
positive manner to your child.
TIP # 2-- You Are The Adult
Sounds silly, but time after time, I have seen a mother or father treat their
child as if they had the mind of an adult. Children, even teenagers, do not have
the development of their brain to comprehend completely the consequences of
their actions. Children are self-absorbed. They are only thinking of their
world, their immediate needs. When a parent gives their child too many choices,
or tells them to do something and expects them to 'fill in the missing pieces'
of the action required of them, the child is going to be frustrated, fail, act
out, or disappoint you. Not on purpose, but because they don't have the
knowledge, experience or development to be able to acceptably complete the task
correctly or to your satisfaction. This, of course, stress' you out and you
probably take it out on your child. But, think about what happened. Did you
explain to your child every step he or she needed to do in order to successfully
complete what you wanted? Or did you assume they would inherently know what to
do?
TIP #3--Your Child Needs And Wants Structure
Young children to teenagers feel more secure and comfortable with structure and
routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. It is
reassuring to them. When a child is an environment where activities, schedules,
rules routines are constantly changing, the child will constantly be in a state
of tension and, possibly, anxiety. Your child will behave in the ways you wish
him or her to, when your child has developed a routine of acceptable behavior
because you have created that structure and routine. What this means is that, as
hectic and busy as the family schedule may be, you must make an effort to make a
structured schedule and stick to it, at least 70% of the time. Dinner at a set
time, homework to be completed before fun with the electronic games. Maybe cell
phones in a basket until chores are done. If you have been running your family
environment chaotic, the change to routine and structure needs to be
implemented, not all at once, but gradually. First, family dinner at a set time,
then bed time, and so on.
It's not going to be easy or an overnight turn around for your family life to
change. Remember, you are the one in control of making it happen. Your children
do want to please you! They aren't happy either when they are acting out or out
of control. The sooner you start understanding your child's motivation and needs
and creating an environment that supports those positively, the sooner your
family life will be a joy to come home to.
Get over 3000 of all the resources and tools you need to support and help you
create a pleasant and happy home, learn how at
http://www.squidoo.com/GainControl
Article Source
Back to Parenting
|
|
