Got to, Get to – Change the way your
family thinks
By Lindsay Small
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way that I, and
my family, think about life. The story is as follows:
There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her own company
and was massively successful in business. Yet every single day, at 10am,
she visited her elderly mother, who was in an old peoples’ home. When
asked if she could attend meetings at that time, she would reply, “I’m
sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”. She sometimes resented the
commitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but nevertheless answered,
“No, I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother.”
One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked if she could make
a meeting at 10am the following day. She started to reply, “No, I’m
sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”, but of course quickly realised that
this was no longer the case. Sadly, she realised that for many years she
had been saying, “I’ve got to visit my mother” when what she should have
instead been saying was, “I get to visit my mother”. She would never get
to visit her mother again.
So how does the story relate to other situations? I have been surprised
by how many times the story has seemed appropriate since I heard it,
just a few weeks ago. It applies to so many different aspects of family
and working life, from the large to the mundane. For example, I first
told my son the story when he was complaining about some extra French
classes he was having at weekends (“I can’t believe I’ve got to go to
the French tutor”). I explained that he is lucky to get to have the
French classes: lucky that we care enough to notice he needs them, and
lucky that we can afford to pay for them.
I thought of the story last night when my little girl was using every
delaying tactic in the book about going to bed, and just refused to
settle down. I caught myself thinking, “Oh no, I’ve got to go
upstairs, miss the end of the television show I’m watching, and calm her
down and settle her into bed” … but quickly replaced the thought with
something along the lines of “I’m lucky that I get to spend 5
quiet minutes with this funny, amazing little girl, even if I am tired
and could do with some rest!”
And I thought of the story again just this morning when the beeper on my
tumble dryer annoyed me into emptying my clean washing! I turned some
very negative, lazy thinking around by reminding myself that I was lucky
to have a tumble dryer, the clothes to put into it, and the family to be
washing them for! It was still a chore but somehow it didn’t seem such a
bad one anymore.
My husband reminds himself of the story when the alarm clock goes off
early in the morning and he struggles out of bed and to the train. He
gets to go to work. Many people don’t. And I think of it when I am
sitting, uninspired, in front of my computer, wishing that I didn’t have
admin or website chores to do for Activity Village. The thought doesn’t
last long. I may have admin and website chores to do, but I also get
to provide activities and inspiration to parents, teachers and
children around the world every week. How lucky can I be?
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Trick or Treating - Keep
Your Kids Safe Halloween is a holiday loved by kids everywhere. It’s a fun time
to dress up like silly or scary characters and go trick-or-treating in the
neighborhood. Be sure your kids are safe while trick-or-treating with these
quick tips..
