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Diary Of A New Mum - Week 4

Light at the end of the tunnel

Ah, so this is why people have babies! Finally I can see a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. This week Paul and I ventured outside, blinking and squinting in the bright daylight, and we found, to our surprise, that there is still a world out there. Life goes on. Even with a baby! 

We went supermarket shopping with Jessica-Ann on Sunday. She was a dream – slept the whole time with her little ‘jazz hands’ sticking out of the car-seat. Everyone who sees her is captivated, and that just makes me so proud. For the rest of the weekend we slept and watched TV and tried to sleep some more.

Sadly Paul’s grandma died last week, and he had to go to the funeral on his own on Wednesday, which was really hard for all of us. It was too far for us all to travel, and I couldn’t leave Jess. The day after, my mom came over and babysat – and Paul and I went out for a drink! Yes, for a whole two hours we were just normal people again, drinking in a pub, relaxing and having a good time.

We talked about Jessica-Ann the entire time, of course. And I still look awful so I felt quite unconfident. But it was great to do it, and it showed us that Jess is perfectly fine being left with someone else for a few hours. She slept most of the time anyway! 

The rest of this week she’s had really bad colic. Colic seems to be defined in different ways by different professionals, but I understand it to mean persistent crying for which there is no apparent reason, probably caused by trapped wind and stomach pain. Poor Jess. She’s clearly in agony from it, and nothing we do calms her. 

The midwife came today and said my uterus is back to normal and my stitches are fine. I’m really pleased. In a couple of weeks I can book my 6 week check and then I can get back to exercising! I’d like to end up being even fitter than I was before I got pregnant. Looking after a baby – and soon a small child – will demand a lot of energy, and at 38 I don’t want to found slacking. 

The night feed routine is also going well, although Paul is totally knackered. I think he held it together so well for me in the early days when I was going through all my problems, but now the strain is starting to show. He’s having a nap as I write this and I’m not going to wake him when he asked me to – I want him to sleep as long as possible. 

Actually, I quite like doing the 1.00am and 4.00am feeds. It means I get to go to bed early and get a nice lie-in in the morning. I find by about eight o’clock in the evening I’m so tired I can barely speak – and all our meals are shoveled down to the sound of Jess’s colicky crying. But, as I said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m slowing heading towards it.

Diary of A New Mum - Week 5

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