There have been countless
debates about how to help your kids become happy, healthy, successful
people in their own lives. And one effective method of preparing them
for their own lives is to give them a heavy dose of the word that not
enough kids are getting today. The word?
“No!”
All of you deal with a certain amount of frustration in your everyday
adult lives. You’re frustrated at your jobs, in your relationships, and
by circumstances that you have no control over. Over time you learn to
handle frustration better and to turn it into challenges and
opportunities that you can work through.
People who can handle frustration successfully tend to have happier and
more successful lives. They learn to be resilient and to appreciate what
they’ve accomplished and what they’ve received.
How about your kids?
Are your kids being frustrated enough? Are there high enough
expectations being placed on them? Are you saying no enough and are you
allowing them to have opportunities to be frustrated and to work through
it?
If you’re not allowing your kids to be exposed to responsibility and
frustration, and if you’re not liberally giving out the N word to them,
you may be creating monsters within the confines of your home.
Many parents have gone through hard times in their lives and naturally
want to spare their children the same fate that they experienced. They
have a very difficult time seeing their children struggling and allowing
them to deal with it. The result of this choice is that many children
today get almost everything they want in terms of clothes, electronic
gadgets, toys etc. The amount of stuff they receive and the new products
that they want keep growing every year.
It’s clear that many parents are preparing their kids for a life that’s
out of touch with the real world. The same kids who have so many
material possessions often don’t appreciate or take care of what they do
have. Why should they? There will probably be more goodies coming soon.
Fathers who say no to their kids on a fairly regular basis take a big
step towards ensuring that their kids are happy, responsible, and
successful.
Here are some specific actions that dads can take:
If you’re married, consult with your wife about
what your dose of the “N” word will be. Creating a unified front
will strengthen your position and cause fewer conflicts.
Never do things for your children that they can
do for themselves. Allow them to be frustrated and to learn to be
more resilient.
Consider an allowance for your kids, even if
they’re quite young, so that they can develop a sense of
responsibility with money and a sense of taking care of their
things.
Take stock of your children’s possessions. Do
they have way too many things? Are their some things that might be
better suited for Goodwill?
Foster an environment of appreciation for the
things you have. Model this appreciation in how you care for the
things you own and how you use them.
Limit the number and price of the gifts your kids
receive at holidays and parties. Donate or give away the gifts that
they aren’t very interested in. If necessary, talk to your relatives
and friends about what you’re trying to do.
It’s difficult at times to see your kids’ struggle
with the many challenges of being young and inexperienced.
Frustration is a child’s constant companion as they learn the many
skills and demands of living their lives.
But Fathers who are interested in having their
kids avoid pain are doing their kids a disservice. They’re more
interested in being a savior than serving their kids. The message
comes in loud and clear for them: “Your dad doesn’t think you can
handle this.”
Remember that some day your kids will figure these things out for
themselves.
And when they do, they’ll thank you for allowing them to struggle.
Are you Dad to a child with learning problems? Subscribe to
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